I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize