I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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