I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
