The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
