I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
