and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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