And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
