Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize