I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
