fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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