So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
