What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's never too late to be topless.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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