He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
