the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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