i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
