dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
