you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want nice things and good sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need to calm my uterus...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
