I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
