Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
