Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
