May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dick very happy bro
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
