ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
