barbara walters just said penis...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
