I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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