I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
