"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
