Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
