You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
