so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
