I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
