that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
