i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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