Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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