his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
