Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize