Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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