I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize