Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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