Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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