Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
