hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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