the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
