I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
