Its about making memories worth repressing
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
