she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
