I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We need to get me chipped asap
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
