Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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