In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
