I feel like abortions should bother me more
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
