so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
