What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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