I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
