i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
