I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
