I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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