i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
