I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You've changed since you got that strap on
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
