Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You dont lie about slip and slides
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My ass is underappreciated
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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