Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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