I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
