i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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